Saawariya-overrated director's misadventure

Sunday it was. After screwing up my CAT bigtime, I decided to make my day count and headed for a movie theater. The only two movies on show were SRK's super bad OSO and SLB's Saawariya. I thought it'd be better to go for OSO simply because SRK could be so bad that it could be good, you know, like things always are.
Moving inch by inch into the rabbit hole they called a queue when I reached the ticket counter OSO was sold out, so I got two of Saawariya.
Now, for the unaware junta, 'Saawariya' is based on a short story by Fyodor Dostoevsky, White Nights. Interested people can read it from here http://www.geocities.com/diwakerr/whitenights.html
This was incidentally the first piece of information to hit the screen, I was like elated, for the story is good. But what fuck up ! SLB is full of shit, yes he is. For the records, I didn't like his magnum opus 'Black' as well, I went to watch it after I heard rave reviews about it being awe inspiring and SLB being the director of millennium and was completely disappointed to see the 'art' missing that was so talked about. It was like watching a stage performance with AB shouting and screaming and overacting at every possible opportunity, perhaps the only silver lining was the child artist Ayesha and few scenes.

But anyways, coming back to Saawariya, this movie was once again like watching a IITK ELS play, people exaggerating their emotions for reasons unknown. Sonam Kapoor trying to act an Aishwarya Rai of Hum dil de chuke sanam in places and Ranbir Kapoor turning out a complete jerk. No fault of his I'd say, because SLB is so full of shit he'd have thought that it would have been great to portray things like this.

Now SLB has 2 times in a row shown that he has no clue how to portray from a book/story. Devdas was a blunder, so is this. Perhaps he should begin taking lessons from Vishal Bharadwaj, who is the fucking master of such adventures, I mean Maqbool, Omkara and Blue umbrella were masterpieces, brilliant movies. Talking of short stories 'Raincoat' had a script of about one page [search for O Henry's 'The Gift of Magi'] yet it was well done.

Sorry SLB, your movie doesn't work, no matter whether you paint it blue, yellow or black. Using colors and rain doesn't make your movie a piece of art or whatever you consider it. Go back to the theatre or whatever you used to do, spare us more shit. And please from next time when ever you decide to make the hero drop his towel keep it for your personal use, you may need it, we can understand that, we don't.