How Colin Bruce cheated me.

Sorry if you're reading this Colin, but there's no other way to say it-I want my fucking money back. I go to this big though totally lacking in quality bookstore-Odyssey-out of the crap-pile of books I found a decent looking title-The Einstein Paradox, well nothing great you'd say, me too, but here's the bash-the subtitle says And other Science Mysteries Solved by SHERLOCK HOLMES, man ! I almost had a boner. Sherlock Holmes and Physics that's gonna be wet dreams for sure.

I almost forgot about the book though because I was reading the cucumber nose of Rushdie, but then one day I had this massive hardon for detective fiction and what better than Mr. Holmes. So I pick up this book (Rs 545, yeah I still want it back) and rush through the first story, man what a let down, you expect that the smartest man in the world will comeup with some excellent theory about the murder and we'll all ejaculate in his honor but, I quote from the book "Holmes cursed and smote himself on the forehead and I doubtless looked as baffled as I felt." The "I" here is ofcourse the fucking moron Dr. Watson and Holmes is cursing himself because HE DIN'T SOLVE THE CASE, some Dr. Summerlee did. WTF!! Seriously, I didn't pay up that money to see Holmes balls kicked all over the place by some nutjob physicist.

I believe I have great forgiving power, because I read the next story from the book as well, and well, that did it. Holmes was not even working on the case, he sent Dr. fucking-moron-Watson on the voyage and Prof. challenger solved the mystery. Wowowowow I just got pwn3d.

The mysteries are also pathetic, I mean half of the time the author is explaining that why Earth is round and not flat, I mean come on if you wrote this book in 1910 (book was written in '97)then also this would have been truism. The time period this book aims at is 1905-1915, because he talk about Einstein's STR but at one place he also mentions through Prof Challenger "Come to think of it, the number of conserved quantities we know of is similar to the number of symmetries the universe is observed to possess. I wonder if there might be some deep link here" so he clearly doesn't know Noether's theorem, which sets the boundary at 1915.

Most of the time author is harping on very basic and elementary physics which totally drained my bodily fluids as this was not what I was looking from this book. I wanted SHERLOCK HOLMES and he and only he should solve the cases. Damn you Colin! I didn't go beyond the 2nd chapter.

* Colin Bruce is physicist living in Oxford and took the rights for Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson and Prof Challenger from some descendant of Doyle to royally screw Holmes.